Crisco, How I Loathe Thee

Crisco, just saying it makes me feel (and sound) fat. I’ve never cooked with it before and I have never wanted to. Unfortunately, my cake decorating class, some of the first words out of dear sweet Lani’s mouth were: you have to follow the recipes exactly – ugh! Along with never wanting to use crisco, I have never wanted to follow a recipe exactly, which is weird, because I have this thing about breaking rules … anyway, in cooking and baking, I break the rules and I’m ok with it. But Lani says no, so what am I supposed to do? Breaking the rules on my own and with no one to answer to except myself (and oftentimes Brad – especially when something doesn’t turn out right and the obvious conclusion is I didn’t follow the directions) is ok, but not in a classroom setting!

So I used crisco this week – twice. Ahhhh. I know. Gross. I’m not exactly sure why one would use crisco but after examining the recipes on the packaging, you can make cookies and pie crust with it – whoopee! Lucky for me, I have made both of those before and without the aid of crisco – bravo me. But as Lani said, we have to follow directions and so I did. But luckily for Lani (and myself), I found it in sticks so I was at least able to skip the scooping out of the can part of it 🙂 But it is still disgusting, still a disaster and it still doesn’t clean! Seriously, what is wrong with this stuff? It’s goopey, messy, sticky, drippy, ugh… I hate it. And on top of everything, I prefer my non-crisco-fied buttercream recipe over this one any day. However, amidst all this nasty crisco drama, I found one thing that it did well: made my buttercream a good consistency.

Now if only I could find a good buttercream recipe that doesn’t involve crisco… anyone? I need this for a decorating class, so it has to be good! PLEASE – tell me your secrets. I can’t handle the non-cleaning crisco any longer.

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